The Seat-Stealer in his natural element
I understand why you don't like books as much as you love watching Lil' Jon videos on youtube for hours at a time. I also understand --at least hypothetically-- why you don't like using deodorant. However, WHY MUST YOU LOVE stealing my corner seat? Everyone knows that it allows one to be shielded from the smell of Guy Who Loves Staring At His Crotch and the noise of Woman Who Brings The Whole Town's Recycling With Her but COME THE FUCK ON, you can watch Lil' Jon videos IN ANY OTHER SEAT but you continue to steal the only one where my charger reaches the outlet so thus forcing me to use the seedbed soaked public computers once mine dies. Please just go back to Bulgaria with that girl that was into Nero that one summer. (wait, was she Romanian?)
Love,
Daddy
My favorite is the out of work contractor who doesn't know how to connect his new laptop to the internet, who asks you for help, then stares out into the distance and nods at everything you tell him to do. Not even moving a finger.
ReplyDeletealmost as good as the woman who asks to use your phone and then walks away with it...that awkward run after her is so miserable
ReplyDeleteor the homeless schizo. my headphones get too loud and librarians race each other to yell at me but the schizo bangs his head against the bookcase cabinet for 2 hours and everyone ignores it.
ReplyDeletewho the fuck still goes to libraries? we have the "intarwebs"!
ReplyDeletedude, free wireless.
ReplyDeletesidenote:
The art exhibit by the basement bathroom: Woman drew zippy the pinhead comics of herself at therapy, her psychologist was a physical representation of her crippling depression.
I liked the one where she and her depression teamed up against the representation of her manic disorder.
Without the EZ-pass library life-style we had become accustomed to at Skidmore (building little forts in window-sils out of chairs and foot rests, taking over class rooms watching deaf pr0n on projectors, and playing with computers that were below the glass table surface in-front of you) I am afraid that we must all concede our seats to the Roma of Bulgaria. The seedbed seats are where I rest my head, and I hope other Senators can bask in the warmth of ass-crack sweat stained seat that is post-Skidmore life. Ohh-ye joys of unemployment. Thank you Daddy for highlighting this library discrepancy, it is a truly powerful micro-cosm. I believe a metaphysical theory can be drawn from a experiential comparison of the homeless schizo people seeking warmth and cell phone usage in public libraries, and the jungle gym that was Lucy Scribner.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about free WiFi.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY34tX5WnCM
ReplyDeletean abramović-esque demonstration of what has happened to me since lucy left my life
DragonflyOnBreak comments:
ReplyDelete"I can only imagine how much that hurt, 1 having the baby, 2 losing the baby... elephants never forget, having protecting the baby growing inside you for 2 years, concieving it, loving it... losing it... People say life isn't fair, and I believe them."
While I can see the emotional roller coaster of the birth and loss of the elephant child. I have to say, as a proud American, the most authentic and tragic birth is that of Ace ...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh2iyPmucFk