The muses’ decision to sing or not to sing is never based on the elevation of your moral purpose—they will sing or not regardless.

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Monday, June 28, 2010

Failed Facebook Groups


Dude, my group was just about to become an internet phenomenon and now the socialist Supreme Court is trying to rain on my parade.
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5 comments:

  1. SenatorJune 28, 2010 at 9:08 PM

    *unrelated*

    Recipe for Life

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ia-s7rY175k

    1. Make CD of above song 12 times in a row, put in boom-box, press repeat all button-- then play.

    2. Make sure it's about 4:30-5am, birds should have started singing.

    3. Carry boom-box to driveway. Oh yeah, bring cigarettes, citronella oil and only be wearing a bathrobe.

    4. At a level point in the driveway pour a wide circle of citronella. Toss off your bathrobe. Turn up boom-box.

    5. Lie on your back within the circle. Light a cigarette. Light the citronella. (touch up circle with more oil as it becomes necessary-- flame should reach foot & 6 inches plus in height).

    6. Replace cigarettes as necessary, keep smoking.

    7. Wait for newspaper to be delivered.

    ReplyDelete
  2. NeroJune 28, 2010 at 9:59 PM

    Q: Why did God create WASPs?
    A: Someone has to buy retail!

    Q: What's the difference between a WASP in a Pink polo as to one in another color?
    A: One is color blind.

    Q: What does a little WASP girl want to be when she grows up?
    A: "The very best person I possibly can."

    Q: What happens when four WASPs find themselves in the same room?
    A: A potluck.

    Q. What do you call a WASP virgin?
    A. You can't. Her number's unlisted.

    Q. What does a professional WASP call her boss?
    A. Daddy

    Q. What is the definition of a WASP?
    A. Someone who gets out of the shower to take a leak.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SENATOR!June 28, 2010 at 11:03 PM

    "Q. What does a professional WASP call her boss?
    A. DADDY"

    Names run a furious dance-- perfect.

    On a side note, do I qualify to be a WASP? I think so, am I wasp I need to know. Is it more a socio-economic category or are we talking socio-ethnic-religioso or something?


    On a second side note, My porch is under a blitzkrieg of insect activity.

    These are the fuckers.
    http://agspsrv34.agric.wa.gov.au/ento/pestweb/Images/earwig1.gif

    They hide everywhere, crawl everywhere. They cling to my chair, the floor, the porch walls, the porch ceiling, my laptop, hide under my tiny glass table, they scurry along my pant legs, up and around my seat cushion, along and occasionally under my shirt. A spider was just hanging on a thread from off my glasses frames. Daddy-long-legs caper off everywhere, in all directions.

    I study them, have learned their habits, temperaments, sex and genus type from observation alone. I give them Latin names before flicking them off into the bushes with my exceedingly long fingernails.

    Do these things make me a WASP? I am a WASP right?

    ReplyDelete
  4. NeroJune 29, 2010 at 2:18 PM

    Q: What do WASPs think of the Mideast situation?
    A: Well, Newport is all right, but EVERYbody goes to the Cape.

    Now, Senator. In the Tibetan tradition all living things were once incarnated as a loved ancestor, so this "blitzkrieg" as you call it should be seen more like a family reunion. Instead of naming your ancestors in Latin and flicking them off the porch, meditate on you long ancestral past and how thee insects might be pine to reconnect with you. And by reconnect with you i mean kick you in your WASP ass. <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. Clarence ThomasJune 29, 2010 at 7:35 PM

    As a young WASP I never thought twice about eating lobsters.

    I stare at them now in their tanks and they disgust me.

    They are sea spiders. Insectoid-mechanical-homunculi, pocket-watch-work brains. Mere ground spiders expanded 50X over.
    I think of them boiled red, covered in butter- and It feels like eating an oversized sea-cockroach.
    I stare at they're black eyes and hate.

    ReplyDelete

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