The muses’ decision to sing or not to sing is never based on the elevation of your moral purpose—they will sing or not regardless.

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Transporter - Part 1



I enter room 376 at Good Samaritan Hospital to transport an older gentlemen to the ultra sound department for some testing. I am immediately hit with a wall of shit stench, it knocks me back a bit but I step forward. "Hi, I am with transportation here to take you to ultra sound for testing." The old man sitting casually in front of his bed says slowly in a low crackly voice "OK ... that sounds good. Thank you so much young man." So I move the stretcher into the room swimming through the shit stench which is stronger now and ask him if he can stand up and get on the stretcher on his own. He replies calmly "Why, yes I sure can." I lock the stretcher and lower the railing and bed to make it easier for him to get on. "Anytime you're ready Mr. Brake." "Hold on, Hold on, give me one minute young man." "Is there anything you need help with sir?" "Oh no, I just need to go to the bathroom." "Oh, that's fine. Would you like some help getting there?" "Oh no, no, no. If you could just hand me that roll right over there." And sure enough there it was, a roll of toilet paper on the table next to me. Then the whole situation came into focus. The old man was crapping on a plastic toilet in front of his bed the entire time I was in the room with him, carrying on a conversation no less. I can see him now, sitting nonchalantly with his gown on draped to the floor, perfectly covering the plastic toilet he is on and happy to talk to a young man who just entered the room. I hand him the roll and quickly unlock the stretcher move outside and tell him to holler when he's done. Soon enough he says "All ready." and I get him situated and we are off to ultra sound.

More adventures to follow....
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2 comments:

  1. SenatorOctober 21, 2010 at 1:23 AM

    i remember a young man who said time and again he needed to lie to himself in order to grasp the world's clammy handshake.
    Now, I will be able to remember a man who has said he never needed any damn lies.

    *5/5*

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  2. Post-ModernerOctober 26, 2010 at 2:55 PM

    i'd like to see the aesthete find enjoyment in the old man as the sweat drips to the tip of his nose from straining to produce his excrement.


    along these lines, i had the pleasure of visiting an apple orchard in lands of old this weekend. lands that were smeared themselves by the fecal matter of Senate waste. it was glorious.

    5/5 indeed nero.

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