Twas the Night Before Senate

Twas the night before Senate, when all through the house
Not a phallus was stirring, not even that of a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas' legs would soon fill their air.

The Senators were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of ontological danglers danced in their heads.
And Senator in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Senator sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open his robe and threw up his sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little Toyota, with all 5 gears.

With a little driver, so lively and caddy,
I knew in a moment it must be Senate's Daddy.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Nero! now, Po-Mo! now, and Senator you vixen!
Great phallus, hold your coke can on Po-Mo so smitten!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dried tissues that before the wild air made fly,
When they meet with Nero's floor, and mounted to the plies.
So up to the house-top of the cul de sac they flew,
With the car full of whiskeys, and beloved Daddy too.

And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As they drew in their heads, and were turning around,
Down the chimney Senator came with a bound.

He was dressed all in blankets, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of cigarettes he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was full of drool with a sag,
And the beard of his chin looked like it belonged on a vag.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round coke can,
That shook when he laughed, like a cold homeless man!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his ride, to his team gave a call,
And away they all flew to his phallus like Nero's face to my balls.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Senate to all, and to all a good-night!"